I have a unique way of typing. I'm not a home row kind of guy. Never learned that b.s. It's one of those skills they teach you in high school -- High School dog nabbit -- but it is not one of those skills I ever bothered to learn and put into practice in my blog making. Much like Calculus. You will never even hear me talking about inverse tangents and cosines. (I know those aren't very Calculus specific terminology but honestly I never took the time to learn the terminology. How I even remember the term "calculus" is incalculable to me.)
So yeah, math ehhhh not so good at it. Not a math guy. Can I do mental math? Yeah. I can add 68 and 87 in my head if you give me a couple of seconds. Do I have my times table memorized? Not all of them. I'm not embarassed to say I have to pause before I answer what 7 times 9 is. Is it like a giant pause, like a one minute pause? No. I have mental math down, I just mentalize it. Do I know what calculus is? No. I'm not even sure what that is. Is that the study of calculators? Beats me. I took pre-cal and like a semester of calculus and I was lost. But guess what, I overcame my distaste for math. I became a literature major. Take that main stream expectations of a man.
But my point is is that I don't use home row keys. To me home row keys is for geeks who wanna play it safe. The doods who use home row keys are the same kids whose mother wouldn't let them cross the street if they weren't holding their hand. Well you know what? My mom did not coddle me. She taught me if you want to cross that street you gotta play by your own rules. Plus, you have to be quick. Like silver. Quicksilver.
So how do I type? However I want to. My hands hover above the board waiting to pounce on the key's little heads. Am I a hunt-and-peck guy? No. I don't need to look at the damn keyboard. I'm not a damn cartoon character. I'm not the comical guy who doesn't know how to use a computer. I am not 3 or 83. I am awesome. Is my approach to typing as efficient or as fast as home row style? I do O.K., I mean I ain't going to win any awards at a secretary workshop but you know what, why would I want to have an award from some lame made up event? Also smoking might not be as efficient as not smoking, in regards to living healthy, but smoking sure is a whole lot cooler. See the parallel I'm drawing here. My style is cool as James Dean and home row key style is as cool as a kid who eats too much Jimmy Dean.
(In this context, "Jimmy Dean" refers to products by the Jimmy Dean Food Company, a brand famous for the sausage and sausage snacks. My use of "Jimmy Dean" was not intended as a gay joke. I do not make jokes in bad taste about the homosexual life style. I am an ally and a friend.)
But really this whole post is just a way for me to get back to the topic of high school, and a girl I knew from high school: Laura Patterson.
What? Didn't expect that twist did you? I just pulled that from nowhere. You didn't think a post about typing skills would end up on the subject of Laura Patterson.
Dear readers, you might be asking, who is Laura Patterson? Well. I don't know. She's a secret wrapped in an enigma encased in the body of lovely young lady. Imagine if your emotionally unavailable enigmatic father was a beautiful Christian woman. Yeah, it's something kind of like that.
You know what, I don't have much to say on the subject of her but I do want to say I wish her a fantastic life with great things. Because I'm a nice guy who is charitable with his well wishing.
But seriously, what's the deal with Calculus? That crap is like home row key typing. And Economics. Psssht.
So yeah, math ehhhh not so good at it. Not a math guy. Can I do mental math? Yeah. I can add 68 and 87 in my head if you give me a couple of seconds. Do I have my times table memorized? Not all of them. I'm not embarassed to say I have to pause before I answer what 7 times 9 is. Is it like a giant pause, like a one minute pause? No. I have mental math down, I just mentalize it. Do I know what calculus is? No. I'm not even sure what that is. Is that the study of calculators? Beats me. I took pre-cal and like a semester of calculus and I was lost. But guess what, I overcame my distaste for math. I became a literature major. Take that main stream expectations of a man.
But my point is is that I don't use home row keys. To me home row keys is for geeks who wanna play it safe. The doods who use home row keys are the same kids whose mother wouldn't let them cross the street if they weren't holding their hand. Well you know what? My mom did not coddle me. She taught me if you want to cross that street you gotta play by your own rules. Plus, you have to be quick. Like silver. Quicksilver.
So how do I type? However I want to. My hands hover above the board waiting to pounce on the key's little heads. Am I a hunt-and-peck guy? No. I don't need to look at the damn keyboard. I'm not a damn cartoon character. I'm not the comical guy who doesn't know how to use a computer. I am not 3 or 83. I am awesome. Is my approach to typing as efficient or as fast as home row style? I do O.K., I mean I ain't going to win any awards at a secretary workshop but you know what, why would I want to have an award from some lame made up event? Also smoking might not be as efficient as not smoking, in regards to living healthy, but smoking sure is a whole lot cooler. See the parallel I'm drawing here. My style is cool as James Dean and home row key style is as cool as a kid who eats too much Jimmy Dean.
(In this context, "Jimmy Dean" refers to products by the Jimmy Dean Food Company, a brand famous for the sausage and sausage snacks. My use of "Jimmy Dean" was not intended as a gay joke. I do not make jokes in bad taste about the homosexual life style. I am an ally and a friend.)
But really this whole post is just a way for me to get back to the topic of high school, and a girl I knew from high school: Laura Patterson.
What? Didn't expect that twist did you? I just pulled that from nowhere. You didn't think a post about typing skills would end up on the subject of Laura Patterson.
Dear readers, you might be asking, who is Laura Patterson? Well. I don't know. She's a secret wrapped in an enigma encased in the body of lovely young lady. Imagine if your emotionally unavailable enigmatic father was a beautiful Christian woman. Yeah, it's something kind of like that.
You know what, I don't have much to say on the subject of her but I do want to say I wish her a fantastic life with great things. Because I'm a nice guy who is charitable with his well wishing.
But seriously, what's the deal with Calculus? That crap is like home row key typing. And Economics. Psssht.
